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Ifeanyi: Stop advising Davido, Chioma, psychologists urge fans

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It is no longer news that Ifeanyi, the son of popular singer, David Adeleke, aka Davido, and his fiancée, Chioma Rowland, died on Monday, October 31, 2022, after drowning in a swimming pool in the singer’s Banana Island, Lagos, residence.

In the wake of the sad news, several persons have been giving the grieving parents ‘unsolicited’ advice on and off social media.

Psychologists speak

However, in separate interviews with Saturday Beats, some psychologists have urged fans to stop giving such advice as it could elongate the time it would take them to heal.

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A clinical psychologist, Dr Maymunnah Kadiri, said, “As a young couple, it is easy for people to give unsolicited advice to them. People should not tell them things like, they are still young and that they should not cry because they will still have more children. Also, Davido and Chioma should not be told that Ifeanyi is in a better place because God is in charge.

“People are supposed to use more comforting words that can help the couple. People should let them know that they are there for them and should make themselves available.”

Speaking on the stages of grief, Kadiri said, “Grieving is an inevitable part of our lives but there are ways that Davido and Chioma can cope. We have stages of grief. The first stage is that of denial and shock; the second stage is anger; the third is the bargaining stage; the fourth stage is sadness or depression; and the fifth stage is acceptance. It varies from one person to another. It can take hours, weeks, months, or years for some persons.

“However, the first thing is to acknowledge the pain. Denial and shock will make their healing process very long. They should accept that grief can trigger many emotions, sometimes unexpected ones, and the process is different for individuals. Even Davido and Chioma cannot grief in the same way. Chioma may grief longer than Davido because Ifeanyi was her only child. That is one sensitive part. If Chioma does not see Davido in the position that she is in, she may think that he does not care. The pathway to recovery is individualised.”

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Kadiri also spoke on different ways the bereaved can heal. She said, “They have to seek a face-to-face support from people who care about them without saying anything and simply listen to them. Also, they must support themselves emotionally by taking care of themselves physically. They should try to eat, bath and sleep. There are certain people who neglect everything if they are grieving. But, if personal hygiene is neglected, it has a way of prolonging the healing process. They should be encouraged not to indulge in sleeping tablets, alcohol or other substances to take the pain away. Those things are not going to work as they will only offer temporary relief.

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“They should also recognise the difference between grief and depression. It is okay to go into a depressed mood but it is not okay to go into clinical depression. Clinical depression is when the sadness has been ongoing for a minimum of two weeks, with attendant low energy level, and loss of interest. At this stage, they cannot sit in the house and be getting support from non professionals. That is when we recommend individual grief counselling, couples grief counselling, and family grief counseling so that they can talk about how they feel because emotions are contagious.”

On his part, a professor of psychology, Suleiman Olarenwaju, noted that there was a high possibility that the couple could be blaming themselves for not being around when their son died. Describing Ifeanyi’s death as a ‘national loss’, he said, “Ifeanyi’s death does not just affect Davido; it is a national loss. However, it is also personal because the loss of a child could be psychologically debilitating to the father, mother and the entire family. Aside from the sense of loss, there could also be a sense of blame, saying, ‘I did not do enough to ensure the safety of the child’. The parents tend to feel both grief and guilt.”

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Speaking on what the toll the tragedy could have on Davido and Chioma’s relationship, Olanrewaju said, “A child is a strong bond between two persons, and the loss of that child could also weaken the bond between them, especially when they are not married.”

Olanrewaju also enjoined people to allow the couple mourn in their own way, stating that getting married to Chioma would them move on and give birth to other children. He said, “Whether depression would set in or not depends on how they can manage it, and give themselves hope. I hope that their marriage is finalised, so that when they become husband and wife, they can raise more kids.”

Reacting to the obituaries and fake news peddled around that Ifeanyi was still alive, Olarenwaju said, “If people continue to make obituaries, they will only keep reigniting the pain and the sorrow. I am sure that Davido and Chioma will come out of the gloom. They are going to have other children.”

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The psychologist added that people should not be forced to mourn in a particular way. He said, “People should not attack one another on social media, because we all cannot mourn in the same way. I noticed that some people were attacking Seun Kuti. I think people should just mourn and move on.”

On the likely legal fate of the domestic staff remanded in police custody, a lawyer, Patrick Oganwu, told one of our correspondents, “The chef and the nanny are still in police custody, and it was said that they are being investigated. If they are found to have been negligent in the discharge of their duties, they will be charged to court.”

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Asked if Davido and Chioma could be held liable for Ifeanyi’s death, Oganwu added, “Our law has not developed to that level. The nanny and the cook were trading blames (over who was with the child before his death). It is only until the investigation by the police is concluded that the legal process can be continued.”

Another lawyer, Femi Njoku, stated that though he did not have all the facts of the case, he noted some persons were negligent in their duties of care towards the child which led to the unfortunate incident. He said, “I don’t have all the facts of the case. But from what I have read and heard, it was clearly a case of negligence on the part of those that were supposed to take care of Ifeanyi.

 

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Gas Explosion kills man while he was preparing food (Photos)

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A Gas Explosion has killed a man at Ayimensah in the Greater Accra Region.

This sad incident happened this morning, Tuesday November 29, 2022.

Mr. Daniel, an agent was killed by the gas explosion this morning while preparing his breakfast.

The cylinder exploded and caught him in the fire.

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He was rushed to the hospital after the unfortunate incident but he passed away hours later.

The body has been kept at the morgue for autopsy and preservation.

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Crime

Native doctor shoots his client dead while testing bulletproof charm in Enugu

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Operatives of the Enugu State Police Command have arrested a 23-year-old native doctor, Odoh Emmanuel, for accidentally killing his client while testing a bulletproof charm he prepared for him.

Odoh shot the deceased, identified as Onunze Benedict, with a locally-fabricated single-barreled gun in his shrine while testing the potency of the charm he made for him.

According to the Command’s Spokesperson, DSP Daniel Ndukwe, who disclosed the incident in a statement released on Tuesday, November 29, the killing occurred in Isi-Uzo Local Government Area of the state.

The statement reads,

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“On 16/11/2022 at about 11.pm, police operatives serving in Isi-Uzo Police Division of the Command, arrested Odoh Emmanuel (male and a native doctor) aged 23, of Umuaram Village in Ikem community of Isi-Uzo LGA, for shooting and murdering his adult male client, one Onunze Benedict, of Eha-Amufu community in the same LGA.

“Preliminary investigation reveals that the suspect confessed to having used a locally-fabricated single-barreled gun to shoot and murder the said victim in his shrine at the mentioned location, while testing the gunshot protection charm he had prepared for him

“The gun has been recovered, while further investigation is ongoing at the Homicide Section of the State CID Enugu.”

The suspect will be charged to court once the police conclude their investigation.

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Crime

Ogun: Yahoo-boy kills girlfriend for refusing to remit fraud proceeds

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A 27-year-old suspected internet fraudster, otherwise known as Yahoo boy, Obeta John, has allegedly killed his girlfriend, Idowu Buhari over claims that she refused to remit to him, a proceed of fraud paid into the girl’s account by a victim.

The victim, an HND 1 student of Mass Communication, Gateway Polytechnic Saapade, Ogun State, was reportedly beaten to death by the suspect.

Abimbola Oyeyemi, the Ogun State police spokesperson, Abimbola Oyeyemi, said the suspect, was arrested Tuesday following a distress call received at the Ode-Remo divisional headquarters.

The police were informed that the suspect, a resident at 3, Mojubade Compound, Eredu Ishara, locked his door and started beating the girl, hitting her head against the wall.

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Efforts by neighbours to persuade him to open the door did not succeed, DAILY POST learnt.

Acting on the distress call, Oyeyemi said the DPO of Ode-Remo division, CSP Fasogbon Olayemi, had quickly led his officers to the scene, “where they met the victim in the pool of her blood after forcing the door open.”

The police rushed the victim to the State Hospital, Ishara, where she was pronounced dead by the doctor on duty.

The suspect said to be an indigene of Enugu State, is presently in police custody.

“On interrogation, the suspect informed the police that he is an internet fraudster and that a certain amount of money from one of his clients was paid into the account of his deceased girlfriend which she refused to relinquish to him,” Oyeyemi explained.

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He quoted the suspect as saying that the fight over the said money had eventually led to the death of the girl.

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Meanwhile, the State Commissioner of Police in Ogun, Lanre Bankole, has ordered the transfer of the suspect to the State CIID for further investigation and prosecution by the homicide team.

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